"Not all who wander are lost". The irony is that while not all who wander are lost, not all who wander have remotely any inkling on the destination at hand. & yet there I was 7 days ago packing my car to drive cross country, again. It had just been in November that I decided on a whim to leave TN to adventure into UT. At least in that moment I knew the destination, Arches National Park. This time however, I didn't have a true idea...
Part of me knew I wanted to go West (shocker I know), and part of me knew I wanted to most likely land in Arizona (shocker again I know), but that was all I had. I looked at the mug my mother sent me last Christmas and eyed what National Parks were uncolored in that direction. Sometimes no plans are the best plans, and sometimes no plans are also the hardest thing to not want full control over. Truthfully, I wasn't even going to put a deadline on how long I'd be gone. Plot twist, the weather did that for me and here we are 7 days later back from a 55 hour round trip adventure. This trip though was harder for many reasons, and I share it because as someone who goes solo it could have been problematic. But 7 days ago I decided that with a car packed full of clothes, sleeping bag/blankets, food, hiking gear, and my new camera I would just go.
Perhaps it was the new camera on why I went cross country again, perhaps it was the inner peace/calmness I know I feel when I am out in the mountains. I'd like to say it was mostly the camera that lured me into this crazy conquest but that would only be half truthful. Hiking/traveling is an unhealthy gateway drug at times for me. (That is the only way I can describe the high of it all). It allows me to not think, overthink, feel, not feel, shut off from the world, and at the same time connect all at once. Jesus, I sound crazy and like a true Gemini even just saying that. & 7 days if you really look at where all I went makes me sound even more crazy. When I am asked how or why I randomly do this, I never have an answer. God at times I wish I did, maybe then I would even feel like it made sense. Or maybe that's part of this, it doesn't need to make sense. For some reason each time I leave is simply a heck yes in my heart, nothing more.
My trek started with one known destination Taos, NM. That isn't even a place on my mug from my mom. I actually only picked Taos because I knew I wanted to see White Sands National Park, and somehow stumbled upon a little glamping spot that caught my eye online. Have I mentioned that the way I travel is literally ass hat backwards? If you want to know how backwards I am in this, I didn't even book the spot that caught my eye until I was 5 hours out from it relying on "luck" that there were spots open still. That Sunday I made it from TN to Petit Park in Arkansas, and then camped in my car at a casino parking lot in OKC. (That can be another story for another time). I managed to make it to the spot on Monday just in time for sunset, my favorite. There was a spot still there waiting for me at Hotel Luna when I made it to NM. I threw my stuff inside the little airsteamer and bolted with my camera to snap the sunset before spending the night staring at the stars. I've never seen such clear skies like I've seen out West. As the sunrise came on Tuesday, I made my way to White Sands except second plot twist I hit a nail somewhere along the way and that put a damper in my time spent getting to my "next destination". What should have had me frazzled didn't for some reason, and I detoured to a different trail along the way only to meet a 67 year old man whose conversation felt more divinely guided than ever.
White Sands is easily not something I would opt to see, in case you can't read between the lines there is literally only sand there. & it slightly looks like Mars as you are on/in the dunes. Left in awe at how vastly differential this terrain was in comparison to most places I've visited, all I could do was marvel at its beauty. OH & while you're not supposed to take anything with you, I took about a cup of sand in each of my boots and even more on my floorboard. Side note too, even in March this place was HOT. Lord save those who actually come in Summer. Another tree colored on my mug down, thanks mom. & it was this park that drowned out everything else around me...utter silence. No wind, no people, no noise whatsoever. As I write this I am thinking my soul knew I needed this, and that was why I was drawn to go here first specifically. Now as the woman who plans everything with no plan and a patched tire at hand...I kept driving to none other than Arizona. Arizona is where I spent the rest of my days this last week, and where once again my inner nomad came to life. First stop Tucson. (PS of a laugh the first time I said Tucson to someone I actually said Tuscan, and well...thank goodness I never taught history!)
I have only seen cactus like this on people's Pinterest boards. We all know what I am talking about. The ever glowing purple illuminated cactus somewhere in the trails...I was destined to create my own Pinterest moment. Instead, I ran into a rattlesnake and barely made it to the hidden gem of a view just in time to capture my glowing background. As weird as it sounds too, I named that snake. Reggie the rattler. He was very angry, loud, and as I froze in shock (mostly because I didn't know what to do) it felt like a Harry Potter moment of wondering what was he actually saying with his hisses. Now once again the irony is that I had just told a friend I wanted a snake tattoo. Snakes scare the living daylight out of me, yet they are beautifully potent. To actually come into contact with one that was camouflaged seemed a little unique if I do say so myself. & if you have never been to Arizona, take it from someone who in a year has now gone almost 7 times YOU NEED TO SEE THIS PLACE. I sat on a rock overlooking the city for what seemed like hours, and let the silence engulf me. Moments like this are when I feel like I have clarity, when everything slows down, where the world speaks to me without saying anything at all.
It might seem like a gateway drug at times, but in this moment chasing the sunset with my camera and then sitting here with a view unlike any other just felt right. I find it funny how I don't trust myself in many regards, yet doing crap like this I just say, "What feels right?" It's never questioned, it rarely makes sense, & half the time the plan that wasn't planned changes. Yet, in the end it always falls how it should elegantly and beautifully. I grabbed my gear, made my way to the car in the darkness, and decided the last two spots would be the Grand Canyon and Horseshoe Bend. The Grand Canyon doesn't need much explanation, it is one of the 7 natural wonders of the world after all...but Horseshoe Bend I was intrigued as to why a 1 mile ish loop for something that is semi in the middle of nowhere was so popular. That's all I needed to say that was where I was headed next. Guess I wanted to see what all the hype was about for a damn horseshoe shaped rock.
Earlier I mentioned this trip was harder this time. It wasn't the fact that I drove a few extra hours nor the fact that I was going cross country again. Hell, it wasn't even the fact that I hit a nail or that the weather went from sand storm wind warnings to straight up snow. This trip was harder because it left me with a lot of reflection. It left me questioning what do I want out of life? I get pride and joy sharing these stories/trips. I get a little chuckle when people wonder why I am home on a weekend. I get a sense of belonging when I am what feels like in my element. It is when I come back that I often feel more lost, conflicted, heartache, struggle. My desire to tackle elevations, trails, and terrains isn't because I can't sit still. My desire is because I am learning how to trust myself. I am learning how to act before having it all figured out. It's not like I knew going into this that the weather would do a total flip on me, and had I known that perhaps I wouldn't have even gone. Going cross country again was merely a feeling in my gut that said go. Merely a pull towards grounding that I desperately needed/need.
In case you wanted an update too on Horseshoe Bend, you really don't need a reason on going. It is also uniquely like another planet. & there I sat on once again another rock in awe of all that is around me. Just like the beginning of this blog with the not all who wander are lost quote, there just might not be a destination known...until then I'll keep driving cross country to chase the views from the tops of places my heart keeps yearning for. Nothing as of lately makes sense to me, and I'll be very transparent about that because the confusion hurts more than anything. But I know in sharing this too someone will relate. & that is plenty for now. There's so much more I want to say too, but as of now I can't put into words what I am feeling. Until then, I hope this resonates somewhere for anyone who reads this. While I travel solo, I am actually traveling with the world, or rather anyone who reads these ventures I document.
-Taryn
IG: taryn_annette
Email: taryn.shaffer@yahoo.com
Patreon: taryn_annette
コメント