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Taryn Shaffer

How It Feels To Not Have A Home

It's been 5 1/2 weeks of being on the road. It's been 5 1/2 weeks of theoretically not having a home. Sure I have my apartment in Tennessee, but truly it hasn't been a home for quite a while. Hotel TRD has done quite the venturing, and yet I have never felt more at home...What a contradiction.

I keep making the joke that this was all an experiment. I get asked how I live in my car, how I do this solo, how I haven't lost my mind. Are there hard days, OF COURSE. Are there days where I am like WTF am I doing? OF COURSE! Back in May I opted for a 2 week trip West to explore a few favorite parks in Utah, and dipped into the Tahoe/California area. That experiment left me with returning to Tennessee for about 3 weeks, and then this gut feeling that I was meant to go off again. One month, that's what I told my mom and that's what I told myself. I'll go for one month, and then see what happens. Here we are though past a month and update I am once again in Utah. (It should be noted I have now in one year driven to Utah 3 or 4 times).

While there is a home base back in TN it isn't home, and I know that but I never grasped letting it go. & for someone that likes security I'll be honest this month has held no plan in regards to where I was headed. It started off in the Badlands, then quickly went to darting to the Tetons where I saw my first bear in real life. What would scare most people brought pure joy to my heart. Something so small, yet so powerful simply just being in nature. That's one moment I felt at "home". After the Tetons my ventures led me to Craters of The Moon in Idaho, and then Oregon. I knew Oregon was happening as I had a long overdue meeting with one of the closest friends I have to date. Oregon was the second nudge that home was no longer this one space, it wasn't a location, it was a FEELING. & Each destination was and is currently as I write this creating a feeling. It was Oregon where I stayed 3 full days in one camp spot simply admiring the people in the quaint little town. From there Washington was next. If you haven't caught on the West has my heart 100%. Really the PNW had my heart from just pictures, but in real life talk about feeling like I was at home. The sunrises, the sunsets, the terrain, the wildlife. Oh and the bumps/curve balls thrown due to me not realizing how close and cozy I was getting to my new home spots when parking. Washington allowed me to once again find peace in meeting another long overdue friend from the internet and see water + mountains in ways never imagined. At this point I was already halfway through my "experiment" but my heart already knew this was no longer an experiment. This nomadic exploration has become my passion, and my life.

Hotel TRD made its way to Montana and when I say I had no plan, I legit had no plan. Montana was NEVER even on the books of a place to go! I had an opportunity to try something, and my gut said there was someone I was meant to meet. With that I just simply said yes. My next home became a peaceful little spot right by Glacier National Park where I met some of the most amazing people that solidified the nudge I had on going. Each place I have gone these last few weeks has been merely because my gut said to go. That is the learning lesson here, when you lead from the heart and gut magic happens. This is no longer an experiment, this is me creating a home from each place I go. Will I be a 24/7 nomad, no I don't think so. I find I am learning that 3 months maybe at a time is best, then a small home base. BUT the beauty is that my home is no longer tied to one spot. & I've let go of that concept that things have to be a certain way or fit.

There is a quote that says, "Life takes you to unexpected places". I think what should be added is that life puts unexpected treasures before you if you allow it to. I chuckle as I write this because some days I don't recognize this woman I've become. This woman who bravely just pivots, bravely says no this isn't for me, bravely tosses every care or norm out the window. & then I chuckle because this woman is someone who has in the last year seen 20 states, unknown amount of parks, hiked god knows how many miles, spent more time driving then ever, and found an inner glow that is sharing a story to inspire others to do things differently. Want to know how it feels to not have a home? It feels like my heart is exploding with joy and light because I have secretly held a home this whole time within my heart. The only difference is that I am now giving myself the keys to unlock that door and embrace the home I've been living in this entire time. With that keep venturing, keep leaning inward, keep bravely pursing all that you are meant to be. Until next time wherever I chase the next view...

-Taryn


Email: Taryn.shaffer@yahoo.com

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